The Letter

01:06:2005
I got a letter today that infuriated me more than any I had received for some time. I was so angry I shredded it immediately and then shredded the envelope it came in for good measure.

My shredder is very good for rage-shredding. It has had a nasty disposition ever since I once tried to shred a sheet of sticky labels. Rather than give a sheet of paper a smooth journey, it twists and folds it as it grabs it and sucks it quivering into its maw. Sometimes the paper gets stuck halfway and has to be helped into the multiple vibrating knives.

I have a big box of sensitive documents that need shredding but the shredding process has become so time consuming that I've been putting it off. I have been considering other ways of quickly and effectively destroying this paper. One thing I'm not going to try is setting fire to it on the barbecue. The one time I tried to do that it took ages to half-burn just a small number of sheets and the ashes blew around the garden all afternoon. I am considering taking the box down to the recycle centre and chucking everything into one of their massive skips but I don't know whether identity thieves might not illlicitly rummage around there, along with the porno-hunters.

Don't laugh. There is porn to be found in recycle bins. I once found a playboy but it was rubbish.

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