It's the cold talking.

10:06:2004
Or is it writing?
---y has taken to spending long periods of time in the toilet. Usually this occurs somewhere between dinner and bedtime. Available evidence suggests that she is writing in there. She keeps a small Barbie-themed pad of paper on top of the toilet roll storage cupboard and the other day (after a protracted session) she left the toilet clutching two sheets of the pad tightly to her chest. She left the pad in there and the top page contained a list of names with a complicated system of colour coded tick marks against each one.
She stashed the two pieces of paper she had taken with her in her bedside table -a small pine chest of drawers which I had originally given ----i as a present but which was regularly raided, utilised and then outright stolen by the kids. I didn't go so far as to snoop into the drawer. --m did it for me (I didn't send him; he was acting off his own bat). Well, he tried but ---y fended him off with an astonishing ferocity which surprised both him and me. She has now hidden the pieces of paper I know not where.
I asked her about her writing sessions today and she said that she had been given letters by ----r and ------i (two of the girls in her class) and she was writing back to them. She has even gone so far as to hang a nappy sack from a knob under the sink to serve as a waste paper bin. I was thinking of taking it down but it's quite handy for putting crisp wrappers in when I go for a piss during a TV session.
-----
I have a cold. Either I got it from a benefit show I did in a skanky squat last saturday, or from a trip to the heath on Sunday with the kids that ended up with us all getting pissed on by rain, or from---l who has just had a cold and was round Monday but I felt like shit all Tuesday. Luckily I am married to a saint who ordered me to rest, read a book, watch TV, not to work etc. I have found the following also helps:
1 piece of ginger, (fresh or dried), grated.
3 cloves
grated nutmeg
a dash of cinnamon
1 peppercorn
the juice of half a lemon
a teaspoon of honey
a shot (or two) of whisky

stick everything in a mug and top up with boiling water. Drink.

It doesn't really cure the cold but it helps you not to notice it. You won't really notice the effects of the whisky because you're all dozy and stupid anyway with the virus.


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